One of a Kind, yes you are.

I almost done feel like writing this letter to you today girl. I'm a little tired of crying and well, writing to you always seems to have this effect on me. But there's just so much to tell you and also, I think this is perhaps a good indicator of how well I'm recovering from losing you. Sometime though, in some masochistic manner, I don't want this pain to go away. I feel like I would have done you a great wrong if I think of you and I don't well up, I don't feel that lump in my throat, I don't feel that hot sting in my eye and I don't feel my heart shatter.

Anyway, Mummy went to the doctor again today for another consultation on her leg. It sounds bad but it's really good news. They found a tumour on her back, it's benign and after her Taiwan holiday, she'll go for her operation on the 24th. This time, all the symptoms match the diagnosis which is really really good. It means the diagnosis is correct or at least comes very close and after the operation, hopefully she'll regain full feel and control of her legs and she'll be out and about once more. I like to believe you're still being the wonderful, loyal servant and watching over her in heaven. Or maybe you're just at God's right hand, using your nose to nudge Him into helping her. Heh, it sounds blasphemous but at this rate, maybe we should start the beautification process for you!

I went running today. Saw a lot of dogs along the way and it naturally, I'm reminded of you. Yet the association with them only comes as far as you're both dogs. Somehow, I never saw another dog and went, "hey, she looks like melou" or "hey, she behaves like melou". The closest was probably that maltese we saw at the vet when we brought you there THAT day yet while Mummy echoed my thoughts and said "look like melou right?", deep in my heart, I thought "No, you're one of a kind." And I'm not just saying that coz I'm madly in love with you, well, love blinds so we don't really know, but you are always one of a kind to me. Your maddeningly cute looks, your warm behaviour, your quiet self.

I'll end here. If you must know, I'm merely tearing and choking up a little whilst writing this. No longer engulfed by my emotions and sobbing uncontrollably. I still miss you though and I hope you're doing well my good friend, take care of yourself and be a little more sociable with the other dogs k, you're always so unwilling to play with them. 

"Must be funny.."

I just settled some credit card bills and it is a sign of the extreme unwillingness to tackle the final question on my assignment that I'm here blogging about finances.


There is a strange satisfaction derived from knowing my finances are in order. Of course when I mean "in order",  I take into account that with most things in life, it's all relative. There's still a princely sum owed in my credit card bill but that will only become due next month.


A week ago, ST published this article about how the 20-something in Singapore are the most debt-saddled. Honestly, I hardly find that news-worthy. I remember a couple of years ago when Banker Scarlet told me about how led the poor audit life for a while, spending beyond his means and often paying only the minimum for his credit card bills. At that point in time, I secretly told myself not to go in his direction. Alas, 2 years on, I'm stuck in a similar situation though I comfort myself with the fact that being on PLC now means I'm paid significantly less than even what he got when he was an auditor. Sure sure, some people (and I have V in mind when I say this) will point out to me that it is precisely because I'm not earning so much that I should be spending less.


Alas, I too recognise that I have such a penchance for the finer things in life that I have little financial discipline. 


To be fair, it's not like I don't try. Since deciding on that U2-Perth trip, I've tried to take public transport more often and that has been significantly aided with the help of my iphone which gives me such wonderful info on when the next bus is arriving. I've also tried hard to keep with hawker food whenever possible. Also helps that I've lately been more inspired to work out more - a money-free activity. 


Truth is, I can't wait to get back to work and start drawing that associate pay.  Certainly more than anything else, I'm craving that title and recognition that I've been working and eyeing for the past 3 years but the pay is definitely something I look forward to. I plan to save a sizable portion to but I have quite a number of big ticket items in mind and I also plan to celebrate my call with some people who have journeyed and motivated me through the last 3 years.


Since I'm on this topic of money, it is worthwhile to end off this entry with a quote from J, a good army buddy of mine who now runs in the consultancy-banking industry in London.


"99% of the world's problem can be solved with money. The other 1%.. just requires more money" - JT  

Defying Gravity

Still stuck in the rut of essay writing. I take comfort in the fact that these essays require a more practical approach and not the substantive law type that I used to do in Warwick which requires an analysis of the statutes and a comparison between cases.

In any case, I have a few things I'm looking forward to after the essays are done.

One is that I've arranged to bring my Godson out to Jacob Ballas on the 9th. Was very happy when there was evidently a bond growing between the 2 of us, and honestly, a little bit of a relief too that he is starting to recognise his Godpa but since then, I've not seen him in quite a while already and I thought I better spend a day or two with him to make sure he doesn't forget me. Hehe..

And why do I say that it is a day or two? Well, my kind friends, F in particular, have taken the trouble of organising a little birthday lunch for me the next day and I'm assuming my Godson will make an appearance as well. F messaged me some time back, asking cheekily if I'm free for lunch on 10th. She also asked me to suggest a place and though I had a place in mind, my atas self always does a self-check and so I didn't dare suggest a place, leaving it to them to decide instead. The decision was made and it was supposed to be No Signboard (?!!). Didn't want to do that and since I already got an idea of the budget they had in mind, I suggested Jules Cafe Bar and though I got chided for it, it looks like we're indeed going to Jules! Yay!

In other news, I finally did a 10km run under an hour yesterday! Wasn't too keen on running initially but given the amount of workload over the next few days, I knew I had to grab my chance for a workout whenever possible so quickly slipped on my shoes and headed out of the house. Started the run and surprisingly, despite not having had any dinner, I felt in good form, my legs felt light as air and my pace was pretty decent! I resisted all temptation to look at my watch as I didn't want to spoil this feel-good moment but when I finally did so at where I knew was roughly the 7km mark, I was about 40 seconds off the pace. At that point in time, almost all of me felt like it wasn't going to happen after all, that I'll just do a decent run and some day, that elusive 10km/hr pace might finally come.

I kept going anyway, this time with very little aspirations apart from completing the 10km run. Then when I got to the 8.2km mark, I looked at my watch again and I was about 30 seconds off the pace. I decided it was worth a try, especially if I upped the pace a little. "Defying Gravity" from the Ipod timely kicked in at that stage and I felt myself running freely. A woman at the bus stop, in her eagerness to flag the bus, did not realise I was there and I had to slow down a little and shouted for her to move out of the way but apart from that, I just busted my lungs entirely and at the bus park near my house, I look as my watch switch from 9.99km to 10km and I pressed "stop" immediately. Time: 59min 49 seconds. I did a little punch in the air, fully knowing that some of these truck drivers sometimes spend the night in their truck and some might see my silly antics. I was too happy to care less. 2 years after my first 10km at AHM where I clocked a paltry 1 hr 12 mins, I finally brought it under an hour. Much thanks has to go to ZY, she of course is not privy to this blog but the few runs I've done with her made me realise I could do decently at a higher pace and after a few runs, I manage to find that higher pace at which I'm comfortable with. Looking forward to singing up for a 10km run one of these days, officially clock in that 1 hour timing and have a certificate for keepsake. Happiness defined.

Via de la Plata

This video was auto-highlighted to me on youtube today.

Via De La Plata - The Silver Way or something to that effect. What I can surmise from the video was basically that this wonderful couple (probably together with some friends) did the full camino together.

I skipped their first 3 videos and watched the last one and true enough, it featured a lot of places I went by. From the bridge at Ourense to that little marker where I finally felt like I was on the right path along the Camino and finally that little stairwell which I hobbled up in order to receive my certificate.

It brought back so much memories and although it has been 3 years and a lot has happened in that 3 years, it certainly didn't feel that way.

Would I ever do the camino again? Would I dare at least try for 200km instead of the 100km the last time? Having done so and knowing the pain it entails, I think I need a little more courage this time to try this all over again and for good measure, a little madness too.

But someday, maybe.. Who knows what the future may bring..

Are shit runs good?

Just completed another run with ZY.

Our run was abruptly cut short today as she had to meet a friend. Truth be told, thank goodness! Those Pepperidge Farm biscuits that I greedily bought after lunch took its toll right from the start. Didn't help that I wasn't feeling well this morning either. The moment we started running, my breath started getting heavier and heavier. Embarrassed, I tried to control my breathing better but I think that just made it worse as my lungs gasp for oxygen. What also didn't help was that we were running what was a new route to me, running through parts of Botanical Gardens that I've never been before. The small little slopes that peppered the route meant that I could not settle down into a decent rhythm and by the halfway mark, I was really struggling.

15 minutes later, the pain was over. I was a tad bit disappointed as I thought I could perserve on a little more, perhaps blowing my lungs out in the process. So upon returning to the gym, I took to the treadmill and that was certainly much better. Did another 15 minutes on there to eek out a nice 30 minute - 4km run. Cooled down, showered and am now back in the library, legs still burning and knowing full well that I'll pay for it tomorrow.

I'm always slightly at a loss after such runs. Should I be disappointed with myself because the run was just utterly rubbish or should I give myself a pat on the back for powering through nonetheless? That's of course only until the endorphins kick in and now, 4kms later, I'm feeling good and feeling like I've burnt off all those biscuits.

After these series of assignments are over, I'll have to find the time and properly eek out a good 12km run, just to up the mileage a little. Now its back to studying.

Are shit runs good?

Just completed another run with ZY.

Our run was abruptly cut short today as she had to move a friend. Truth be told, thank goodness! Those Pepperidge Farm biscuits that I greedily bought after lunch took its toll right from the start. Didn't help that I wasn't feeling well this morning either. The moment we started running, my breath started getting heavier and heavier. Embarrassed, I tried to control my breathing better but I think that just made it worse as my lungs gasp for oxygen. What also didn't help was that we were running what was a new route to me, running through parts of Botanical Gardens that I've never been before. The small little slopes that peppered the route meant that I could not settle down into a decent rhythm and by the halfway mark, I was really struggling.

15 minutes later, the pain was over. I was a tad bit disappointed as I thought I could perserve on a little more, perhaps blowing my lungs out in the process. So upon returning to the gym, I took to the treadmill and that was certainly much better. Did another 15 minutes on there to eek out a nice 30 minute - 4km run. Cooled down, showered and am now back in the library, legs still burning and knowing full well that I'll pay for it tomorrow.

I'm always slightly at a loss after such runs. Should I be disappointed with myself because the run was just utterly rubbish or should I give myself a pat on the back for powering through nonetheless? That's of course only until the endorphins kick in and now, 4kms later, I'm feeling good and feeling like I've burnt off all those biscuits.

After these series of assignments are over, I'll have to find the time and properly eek out a good 12km run, just to up the mileage a little. Now its back to studying.

End of the week (somewhat)

I can't quite say that my week has ended or that I can breath a sigh of relief but given that I handed in 2 assignments today and endured through a Conveyancing tutorial, I think it's fair enough to let loose a little. For that very reason, I was really looking forward to an evening with GH and S. It didn't feel too long ago that we met up with S when she came back from HK but it was nonetheless good to see her again.

Night started off at Altitude and I got all excited when GH msged to say that the view was spectacular as the lights for F1 were on. A little wait at the escalator and when I got up there, the view was truly spectacular.

Image isn't the sharpest but you can imagine how beautiful it was. Hoping that I don't sound too filled with national pride when I say this but F1 really showcases how beautiful Singapore has turned out in the last few years and I'm looking forward to the race this weekend.

We didn't stay too long at Altitude as we were getting hungry and so proceeded on to Cugini for dinner. Never been to Cugini before but I'm starting to really put my faith in GH. When she suggests a place, we can usually count on it. 

Alas the night ended early as GH was heading home and S was off clubbing. I'm not complaining though. As much as I wanted to chill out some more, I could feel my body shutting down. Plus my interactions with ZY lately have really started making me think twice about how I treat my body. 8 hours sleep, proper food, etc. It's not really that much of a lifestyle change since I am usually aware of how much I push myself but I guess it wouldn't hurt to instill in myself a little more discipline.

With that in mind, I'm off to bed. Tomorrow, another essay awaits. Please let PLC end soon. I just want to get called!

Little moments.

Today was filled with such nice little moments and since it's actually quite a terrible week for me in terms of the amount of assignments due, these moments felt like a rare gift which I had to put it all down in the blog.

Wasn't in the best of moods this morning. Went to sleep thinking of Melou and was also upset with V.. Well to clarify things, I saw on FB that she had booked her tickets to Nepal. It isn't one of the places that feature high on my "Place To Visit" list but when a friend asked her where she was going, she said something like "To watch the sun rise over the Himalayas". Somehow, I felt upset seeing that message, I can't tell if I'm upset with her or just upset with myself but it felt like one of those things that we should be experiencing together as a couple and not having her travel there by herself to experience on her own.

I know, I know, it sounds terribly childish and immature of me but I'm upset nonetheless and if that speaks volumes about my maturity then so be it.

So in any case, I made my way down to Black which of course never fails to cheer me up a little, sipping on that nice latte (opted for an iced one since it was searingly hot today) and in that 3 hours I was there, I actually managed to get quite a bit of work done. I took a solo lunch at Earshot Cafe to do a bit of carbo-loading for the evening run and then proceeded to lecture. After the lecture, C and well, C, wanted to discuss one of the assignments. It took me completely by surprise and I was not prepared at all, but being the nice friends they were, they were happy for me to leach off them though I did manage a couple of contributions here and there. I felt more at ease after the discussion, the assignment now definitely looking a lot easier.

Went for a run with ZY after tutorial. Excellent run. We did 9.2km in 55 minutes and it was not only till we were warming down later did I realise that if I could do 9.2 km in 55 minutes, then my long targetted 10km under an hour was definitely possible with just a little more training. Was truly happy about it though I must have looked a little silly grinning at that prospect in front of ZY who does 10 km in 40 minutes. ("45 minutes now" she corrected me, as if that makes a big deal of a difference)

We ran past a number of tourists today and I can't help but think of the times when I was in Vancouver or San Fran and I saw these joggers and thought to myself "I move here just to get this weather and this view to do my runs in". I wonder if the tourists thought the same today. It's not quite Vancouver or San Fran but some of the places we ran by today was just absolutely beautiful and as nationalistic as this sounds, I have to say we're doing a real fine job in beautifying the city.

Along the run, I also bumped into J whom I just had the pleasure of catching up with at AF's wedding last saturday. Yelled out to him but he had his earphones on. I texted him later and he said that was his regular route too and will look out for me the next time. I really enjoyed catching up with everyone at AF's wedding and that just needs another separate blog entry on its own. More on that another time.

Also got a msg from GH. I only saw it after my run but it read "So your ankle okay already ah?" "Idiot!" I exclaimed out loud, shocking ZY a little. I had taken a cursory look at Overeasy as I ran by to see if I could spot GH but a lack of effort plus an immense amount of concentration on keeping up with ZY must have made me miss her. Funny message to come back too though!

On MRT home, I got a message from S who just got back from Hawaii with her boyfriend and proclaimed to us all that the boyfriend proposed and she said yes. Happy for her. Long distances are never easy but it's always wonderful when one works out. I texted back saying "Happy for you but starting to think C and I hang out with the wrong bunch of girls. In the past year, all of you either got engaged or pregnant!" Haha..

I feel compelled to find the moral of the story after that telling these series of moments so here goes..  (1) Life can still be beautiful no matter how stressed out we are and (2) I am surrounded by wonderful friends and with that, adieu.

The Wicker Basket..

Tonight when I came home, I allowed myself to imagine for a moment.

I closed my eyes and listened hard for that slight stirring in that wicker basket. I never knew whether you smelled that I was home or that the light streaming in from the door cast a little shadow onto your basket. But often, you would stir from your sleep and cock your head up to look at me.

On days when I'm tired, I just walk past you and go get my towel to go shower. Sometimes on the way to the bathroom, guilt strikes me and I kneel down to play with you for awhile. Sometimes when the mood hits me, I immediately pick you up from the basket to shower you with love or at least give you a light pat because I didn't want to disturb your rest.

Tonight, no wicker basket was in the house. No stirring could be heard. You're instead resting peacefully in that little porcelain urn.

A part of me wishes I had played with you more often but I also know that you know how much I love you and you know how much mummy loves you too. Whatever the nature of things truly are, I have to tell myself that because knowing it any other way would just not suffice, would just not keep me sane.

Someday the tears will stop flowing and the heart will stop aching but my memories for you will never be forgotten and there will always, always, be a special place in my heart reserved for you.

Another letter to you..

I dreamt of you last night.

The dream was short and a little hazy but it looked like the void deck downstairs plus a slightly bigger field around it and you were running around it looking happy. You look younger, spritelier, perhaps close to the age when we first got you.

I remember when I used to bring you down to do your business. I wanted you to stay on the grass so that you will do your business and we can go up but you used to be so mischievous and dart off whenever I'm not looking.

When we used to stay at the old block, you darted off once and took the lift up on your own. I was so worried I combed every single floor and found you on the 5th floor, exactly where our house was except that we stayed on the 11th. Silly dog.

You know mummy sent out an email to the family to say that you had left us and because it was sent out on a saturday, not many of those at SP read it until monday. When Lak Mai asked Boh Nee how come she read it at the temple but didn't tell her, Boh Nee said she was just so upset she went upstairs to her room and locked herself in to cry.

Uncle FW who hardly played with you also told mummy he was so sad to hear the news and even Popo who always said we should not cry over animals shed a tear for you. Mummy said even some random auntie downstairs got her eyes all watery when Mummy told her that we had put you to sleep.

You meant so much to all of us and that's because you were always so loving. You were quiet and never made a noise but in your own way, you silently touched each one of our lives.

Mummy brought your ashes home yesterday. I had classes so I didn't go along with her. In some ways, I was glad I couldn't make it. I couldn't bring myself to go back there again and recall to mind all those sequence of events on Saturday. We place your little porcelain Urn on top of the amplifier with the candle next to it. It helps to see you in some physical form. Mummy said Shifu said we should not throw you in the sea as it will be cold for you. My catholic belief screams nonsense but y'know, it's you and I want you to be as comfortable as possible and if there's a chance a sea burial will mean you're cold, then we won't do it. Mummy said we could bury you downstairs. Go down one of these days after a rain so that the soil is soft and dig a hole for you. I think that's ideal because it means you'll be near to me. Would you like that?  I still want your porcelain urn around for a while more though. How long I'll take, I don't know but it's really comforting to see you around.

It's getting a little easier now to deal with your loss, but some nights like tonight, I still sit here typing this to you and crying over the keyboard.

I still can't believe you're gone. The house seems so empty these days. It's like its just mummy and I now and maybe in some ways its good because it forces us to talk more with each other especially now when we both need to support one another. But what I wouldn't give to have you with me again. I don't want you lying there crying in pain and hoping for us to carry you and I know you're in a better place but I wish you were here, scratching at my door to ask me to let you in. Or nuzzling your nose under my arm so that it fell nicely on your back, prompting me to give you a good scratch.

I miss you girl. I miss you so much..

You silly dog..

I miss you tremendously.

I come home and I see that patch of grass downstairs where we often bring you down to pee and it saddens me to no end.

MK jie wrote a nice email to mummy and I and talked about how she was so sad to hear the news even though she has not seen you for so long. She remembers how you used to stick your nose under her door to try to wake her up or how she used to carry you whilst she was working on the computer. If it helps your memory, MK jie is "the girl with the smelly feet". We used to call her that because you used to run up to her when she came home, smell her feet, recognise her and then got all excited.

We lit a candle for you the last 2 nights and left the altar lights on. If you wish to visit, please feel free to. I know it's a much better place where you are now but it would be nice if you left that turkey bone alone for awhile and come see me in my dreams.

I miss you you silly dog, so so much.

Melou (1994-2010)

There are days in UK when I'm riding the bus to campus and my mind wanders and I think about Melou. I think about how old she is getting, how her eyesight is deteoriating and whether she misses me. And sometimes, I think about whether I'll still be in UK when her time comes and I can't help but shed a tear. Flustered, I often would whip out my sunglasses just to hide my face from everyone on the bus.

I'm glad that she lived a good and happy life and most of all, I'm glad she waited for me to come home and gave me the chance to spend these last 3 years with her. But those moments described above have played through my mind so many times that it feels like this eulogy has written itself over and over in my head many times over.

I received Melou from my mum's colleague in 1997. I remember the day clearly. I had gone to Jubilee Hall theatre to catch a play with my Sec 3 class.  What play it was I did not remember and that's probably because my mind was only on the fact that my mum was bringing a dog back for me. My mum picked QX and me up after the play and started complaining about the dog being very naughty and keeps barking and because she's not toilet trained, my mum had locked her in the kitchen.

When we got home, I slid open that kitchen door and this beautiful white dog jumped at me excitedly. I played with you and you did not bark one bit. I suggested to mummy that maybe you didn't like to be cooped up in the kitchen and so we let you loose around the house and not one sound did you make.

When we brought you downstairs to pee, we tried to be responsible owners and put you on your leash. But you hated it. You would not budge whenever you had a leash attached to you. You didn't even like having a collar around your neck. So we let you loose and you were happy.

For an only child in a single parent family, you mean the world and more to me. You always greeted me so happily whenever I came home from school. I joke that you lasted longer than any of my girlfriends but that's really the truth. You were there to comfort me when I broke up with each one of them and you often hide under the sofa/bed whenever mummy and I quarrel but when the storm had passed, you would come out from your hiding place and quietly plop yourself down next to me and rest your head against my leg. You loved unconditionally and in doing so, you taught me how to do the same too.

The last couple of months, you fell ill and then you had a fall and could not walk anymore. You got frustrated and cried often and we ended up having to keep you in the storeroom for fear that your barking would upset the neighbours. We also found that on cold nights, you much preferred the shelter of the storeroom. But your condition got worse and your cries of pain and frustration became louder and louder and so today, my best friend, we let you loose and end your suffering. May you have fun running around the big fields of heaven. May God restore your sight and let you run free and someday, we shall meet again my dear friend.

You mean everything, everything, everything to this lonely boy and you journeyed with me through my life every step of the way.  I love you my dear sweet friend. May you find peace in heaven and as Fr Bosco said today, "May the angels welcome you home".

Always and forever yours,
Sherwin

Family Lawyer? No. Runner? Maybe.

Family law tutorial dragged on a little today and as the tutor rambled on about the manner in which you should manage your client, I drifted off a little and pictured myself as a family lawyer. I imagined putting my people skill to good use, to try my best to put my client at ease and with each case settled, I might just feel a sense of satisfaction having done some damage control and perhaps a little bit of good. I was so immersed in that little thought, albeit for a few seconds, that I got worried and quickly snapped myself back out of it. I don't believe myself to be a money grubber but I do like a comfortable life and I think I've found my balance with corporate work. Something I can make some money out of and at the same time, gain a level of satisfaction from the work. Family law? Perhaps in another life..

Had my dinner at the coffeeshop and played my Xbox for slightly under an hour just to allow for the food to digest. Then it was time to hit the roads once more...

As I started pounding the pavement, I was more than a little anxious, wondering where I might tank once again and take another long walk home. As I reach the point where I tanked the last time, I found myself doing some sort of body check up on myself - Stomach? Not churning, not feeling empty. Legs? Groin's acting up a little and ankle's still a little niggly but generally okay. Feeling a little more confident, I pressed on and before I knew it, I looked at my watch and I had clocked 8.4km. I knew the little turn back from Bishan would bring me up to an even 10km and I was so happy there was an extra spring in my step. I shuffled my feet faster, lengthen my stride a little and with an extra bounce, quicken my pace. At the 10km mark, I clocked 1 hour 10 minutes. My best 10km was Stanchart a couple of years back where I got 1hr 4 minutes. It was a little off but I was still very happy I did it. That's 7 min/km pace and if I continued at that pace for my 21km, I would have hit my 2hr 30 minute target. Of course that's one huge assumption but I'm just really glad to be out there clocking up distances once more.

I'm probably about 2 weeks short of AHM and will give it a miss this year but I'm gonna soldier on and look towards doing well for Stanchart at the end of the year. Feeling really confident and happy - must be the endorphins!

Simple pleasures

That was what yesterday was about.

An SMS from Ahmad on Friday reminded me that I had to go to Kallang Leisure Park ("KLP") to collect my AHM race pack. 80% sure that I won't be doing the run but hey, paid for it already right, might as well go down to get my free t-shirt (though AHM t-shirt's are usually nothing to shout about).

So after waking up at 12 (major bio clock screw up these days), I ambled around the house a little before making the trip down. Ordinarily, I would have just cabbed there and back but the U2 tickets that I purchased this week has left me a little short on cash so I decided to rely on public transport instead. Made a 10 minute walk to the Ave 6 bus stop and took bus 851 (courtesy of my gothere app on the Iphone) to Marymount MRT and then hopped on the circle line for a 22 minute mrt ride to KLP.

Was expecting to have to queue for at least an hour ala Adidas Sundown but it was so fast I was in and out of KLP within 5 minutes. Made the reverse journey and was home in less than 2 hours.

Why am I setting this out in such great detail?

Firstly, the entire journey was rather therapeutic in some way. I'm often rushing from one point to another, I don't like wasting my time on the bus and on the train. Not that I don't waste my time at all, I just rather waste my time elsewhere. It was just nice to move along at an easy pace and take in the sights and sounds around me. Though a part of me was worried as to whether I can run the errand and be back in time to get ready for my dinner plans, I really didn't feel all too rushed. It was just a nice relaxing saturday afternoon altogether.

Secondly, as I hopped onto the train again at KLP, I bumped into D! It was such a pleasant surprise! I had heard that he's with the Brunei police now and is in Singapore to train with the Home Team but I had never gotten down to contacting him. The last time I saw him was still during uni days and in the turn of an eye, it's been 3 years! We were never that close in uni, just merely soccer buddies but I was really really happy to see him once again. The timing of our meeting also meant I could invite him to the Warwick gathering at night which he was quite happy to come along and meet up with everyone else once again. Invited him down to join me for Cage football one of these days, though he gets a little intense when playing football, it should be fun to have him on the pitch once more.

I was really glad I took the public transport option, without which I wouldn't have been bumped into him. Also, I made a slight detour on the return journey at Marymount MRT to head over to Shunfu market for lunch. I've always had the impression that it was a place laden with good food but perhaps given the time of the day, most of the shops were closed. I did manage to eat my bak chor mee, something I've been having a hankering for the last couple of weeks now (I had refused to eat poor quality ones around my house).

Evening was spent catching up with L who had just came back from Shanghai and the rest of the gang from the Firm. Was good catching up once again and we were in stitches at various points of the conversation. Also spoke a little to M in the course of the meal especially when the others' talk of CorpFin work became a little too technical for my liking. She asked me about my relationship status these days and I indulged her and gave her a quick but honest summary of my current situation.

Proceeded to join the Warwick group for the aforementioned meet up after the dinner. Was good to see all of them again but will also be seeing them next week and A's wedding. A was really nice to switch seats across the long table just to come over and speak to me and he's one person I'm always more than happy to talk to. I couldn't be more happy for him that he's tying the knot next week and I'm really looking forward to that wedding.

Tanked..

Decided to test out the ankle for the first time last night. With AHM less than 2 weeks away, it's now or never. Armed with nice tight socks and an ankle guard, I took to the road. Immediately within a few steps, I felt the niggling sensation in my ankle but if there was anything that the Addidas Sundown experience has taught me, some pain can just be pushed through even if it bothers you the entire run.I actually felt pretty good after the first couple of km. Felt happy to be out running again and even the pain in the ankle felt good in some masochistic way.

Then at the 3.8km mark, I just completely crashed. I thought all I needed was a little breather, take a little walk and then start running again but when I tried, I just felt like I had nothing left in me. An empty tank. I remembered Fong words about running at a lower heart rate and thereby only using your fats as fuel and god knows I have plenty of that in reserve. So I tried, I slowed down to an almost walking pace but shuffled my feet decently enough to resemble some sort of jogging motion. Yet after 5 minutes of that, I could not do it any longer leaving me walking the remaining 2km back home. Any attempt to even start running again after that just left my slightly dizzy and worrying that I might just collapse into the uncovered drain next to me.

As runner after runner passed me, I felt real shitty. I tried to run through what I might have done wrong but in the end, I suspect it's a combination of a few reasons. The lack of sleep, the small amount of pasta I had eaten plus the fact that I hadn't done a run in weeks probably meant my body started burning up fuel a lot faster than expected.

Thoughts were that I most likely will have to pull out of the AHM. The end goal this year after all is Stanchart and I really should take it easy now to let my ankle have a chance to recover completely.

I still want to give it one more shot though, so maybe this weekend or something, I'm going to try taking to the road again. Hopefully I can get a decent run in this time.