Sporadic things and Melou's anniversary

I forgot how my colleagues and I came to the topic today but I mentioned that I have been having trouble sleeping. One of the SAs came back to his desk at that point in time and was also asked if this insomnia issue affects him too. Surprisingly, he said yes and that 1am to 3am are timings during which he is most awake. I am not that bad but I can see where he's coming from. Maybe it's a lawyer thing. A 1,001 things running through our heads, constantly worrying that we might have missed out on one detail or the other.

So I am turning back to this blog for some solace. An attempt to wind down at the end of the day. To stare at the computer one more time after a long day of staring at the comp. Hair of the dog style if you will.

Did a 6.5km run today. Saw myself in the mirror at the gym yesterday and can't believe that huge spare tyre around me. Have to work it off by hook or by crook and hopefully, though not realistically, in time for V and I's Phuket trip in October. In any case, I'm gonna be turning 30 next year and I like to do so feeling fit and strong.

In other news, it was Melou's death anniversary a couple of days back. Can't believe it's been a year already and yet that very day still haunts me. Lately, V has taken to using the electro-magnetic machine thing and only in the shower earlier, I realised that a wave of uneasiness washes over me whenever I see or hear about that machine. I realise it's coz it was around the time when Melou had that fall and could not walk, her last few days.. She would cry and cry non stop but whenever we switch on the machine and place her on it, she calms down and falls into a gentle rest.

I completely forgive my mum from dropping her but I still cannot believe she was taken away from me in that manner. My companion, my best friend of 14 years, taken away from me and I miss her so much. I miss her running to me and lying on my lap each time I lie down and how she uses her nose to nudge and lift my hand so that I will pat and scratch her. Melou, you're the most loving dog any one could ever ask for and I hope you're happy in doggy heaven. I love you.

Sigh.. okay, that wasn't as "winding down" as I hope it would be but it was therapeutic to let the tears flow once more. There's very little left that I want to say so I shall end off here,  abrupt as it may be.

Quarter-life crisis

When I was wee small, taking medicine was a complete chore (for my mum at least). It involved wrestling me down to the floor, using her legs to pin my chest down and then forcing that horrible syrup into my mouth.

Then the doctors deemed me old enough for pills and boy were they a wonder. I pop one after the other and marvelled at how easy the process was and why hadn't this miracle happen sooner in my life. Non-drowsy? Heh.. No way! *pop pop* To be taken on a full stomach? Who cares?! *pop pop*

Now at the ripe old age of 29, that same fearlessness has once again left me? To be take on a full stomach? Was that half sandwich I ate for breakfast filling enough? Am I on a full stomach? How do you really define "full"?

Dammit, I've become a pussy once more.

Julien Cottereau's Imagine-Toi

Every new year, caught up in the hype of a brand new year ahead, I fall into the trap of making resolutions. Often, a list of about 2-3 resolutions come to mind and by February, perhaps only 1 remains. I can't recall how many resolutions I made for 2011 but one of them involved watching more theatre/arts performances. I even set a number to it. 15 or something but honestly, I cannot remember any more.

Since I am serving my notice period now and have some time on my hands (plus the new job next month promises little sleep and plenty of hours in the office), I have been trying to clock in a few more performances so as to fulfil this resolution.

Last night, V and I attended Julien Cottereau's Imagine-Toi. The mailer came in from Esplanade and when V returned from Korea, I proudly announced to her that I secured tickets for us to catch a "magic show". Turns out I hadn't read the mailer properly, it wasn't a magic show but more of a clown/mime show. It being more mime than clown.

Thinking it was a magic show, we were a little apprehensive that we would be surrounded by a bunch of screaming kids and would end up feeling terribly out of place. We could not be more wrong. There was however one kid sitting 2 seats away from me who was laughing at everything Julien was doing. He had this carefree loud laughter that made me find the opening sequence funnier than it really was.

Beyond that, Julien completely took control, having us in peels of laughter. The parts requiring volunteers from the audience really got everyone going and for the life of me, I can't remember when was the last time I caught a performance which ended with a full standing ovation. Really, in conservative shy Singapore, rarely do you see every single person in the audience get up on their feet and give the performer his due. Julien made everyone reduce their clapping to a finger tapping rhythm instead and with the tapping sounding like rain drops, he broke into a Gene Kelly impersonation of "Singing in the rain" and promptly made his exit.

I really enjoyed the performance and it was the perfect weekend recharge needed before going back to work on Monday.

To Julien, chapeau bas!

Ray - Who would have thought?

So its been awhile since I wrote. Post-exams, it's just been a whirwind of activities. Australia for the U2 concert, the holidays, back to work, getting called to the Bar etc etc. There just isn't a great motivation to blog when you're no longer stuck in the library with the choice of either blogging or studying. But there's a lot to chronicle and perhaps I'll find some time to do that one of these days. I'm also toying with the idea of blogging in the morning before starting work. It always impresses me how ZY can blog and then start on her studying and not be distracted for the next couple of hours. It seems like one of those things that's effective in getting all the other rubbish in your head out and letting you focus on the work at hand.

In any case, there's really only one thing I want to chronicle today so here goes.

Last night, we went to C's place to catch the Liverpool ManU game. Told V that I want to get there a little earlier to spend time with my Godson before his bedtime.

We reached around 9 and so gave me about half an hour to play with the boy. He came running over and when I asked for a hug first, gave me the most loving of hugs. Then he proceeded to pick his football out of his basket and started ordering V and I around, making sure we stand at specific spots so as to facilitate better kicking around. (Using a lot of baby jabber and pointing, of course)Terribly bossy! V took the chance to show him who's boss too by making him stand further back and it was funny seeing how solemn he was as he dutifully took up his assigned position.

I can't recall what it was but C distracted me at one stage as I was part kicking the ball with the Godson whilst talking to his dad when all of a sudden, V said "Did you hear that?!". When I said I didn't, V turns to the Godson and says "R, say it again?" and then I heard the most magical tone in the world...

"Ball!" - His first word!!

Of course that's not the first word he's ever uttered and according to the parents, he can say "Iphone" which really is such a terrible reflection of society today.

But "Ball!" is the first word this Godpa has heard him utter and the voice is remarkably different as compared to the jabber he usually utters. It was a clear, slightly high-pitched voice with the word annunciated perfectly. It was the cutest of things and I can't wait to hear more of it as he learns to say a few more words. (I did try holding my iphone in front of him to make him say "Iphone" but alas, he just tried to grab the phone and refused to say the word..)

It's funny how things pan out. When C first asked me to be Godpa, I said yes with some apprehension. A part of me also saw it more like a duty to God and C than anything else but in the last year, I've really started bonding with the boy and beginning to love him so much. It's scary really. Not to toot my own horn here or anything but it does make me wonder, that if I have that much love and affection for my Godson, I'll be a complete and utter love fool when my own comes along in the future. Very scary indeed.