Dreamt of you again last night sweet heart..
I can't remember what the dream was about but I don't recall it being a good one..
A year and a half on, I still miss you so much you silly girl. Maybe I am just tired from the long hours over the last week but thinking back now to your last few days/months with us, I feel like I have let you down. I am sorry we had to let you got this way. I wished you had lived on longer and passed away quietly in your sleep some day. And as much as I can tell myself we treated you well and you led a good life, I still miss you so so dearly, Melou.
I hope you're happy in heaven and may our paths cross once more my sweet one. Thank you for being such a big part of my life. I'll love you forever and ever.
Thursday, 22 March 2012
Monday, 6 February 2012
Familiarity
Life should not be about sending out an email at midnight and then sitting at your table, essentially clicking the refresh button and seeing if your boss responds immediately.
Sometimes it just is though and tonight, is just one such example.
I have been feeling somewhat lost since joining the Firm half a year back. Being placed on brand new transactions types is certainly good for career building but not when you are trying to show the bosses why they hire you in the first place.
Then out of nowhere, an IPO file falls on my lap and I am savouring every moment of it. Honestly matters little that I am back over the weekend or that I am working late. What matters is that I am in The Zone. I may not know the entire SFA, 5th Schedule SFR, Listing Manual etc but I am no longer groping in the dark, going around begging for precedents I never even knew existed. I am doing what I did at the Old Firm and the sense of familiarity is oddly, a breath of fresh air.
Okay, boss has responded with a single word. "Thx". Abbreviated even. I don't know if it means my advice is up to mark but it does mean I am done for tonight. Shower. Sleep.
Sometimes it just is though and tonight, is just one such example.
I have been feeling somewhat lost since joining the Firm half a year back. Being placed on brand new transactions types is certainly good for career building but not when you are trying to show the bosses why they hire you in the first place.
Then out of nowhere, an IPO file falls on my lap and I am savouring every moment of it. Honestly matters little that I am back over the weekend or that I am working late. What matters is that I am in The Zone. I may not know the entire SFA, 5th Schedule SFR, Listing Manual etc but I am no longer groping in the dark, going around begging for precedents I never even knew existed. I am doing what I did at the Old Firm and the sense of familiarity is oddly, a breath of fresh air.
Okay, boss has responded with a single word. "Thx". Abbreviated even. I don't know if it means my advice is up to mark but it does mean I am done for tonight. Shower. Sleep.
Thursday, 19 January 2012
A change of perspective
Yesterday, a difficult task came before me at work. The task itself wasn't too difficult but it required me to conduct the conversation entirely in mandarin and that scared the hell out of me. Turning to my boss, I expressed my lack of confidence in completing the work. He looked a little shock, recovered and then said if I need help, I can rope in one of my colleagues.
Heading home, I thought about that little exchange I had with my boss. What happened to that driven guy who showed up at the interview, proclaiming he could do this and that and how hard he would work if given the chance. I honestly felt a little ashamed with myself. Why couldn't I see this as an opportunity to shine instead of running away scared.
Like what Fabregas' agent told him when he first went for trials at Arsenal, "Keep asking for the ball".
This morning, I went back into the office with some renewed vigour and tackled the task head on. It wasn't easy. I stammered a lot and at some stage, the person on the other end of the conversation had to ask me to slow down as he couldn't quite catch what I was saying. In the end, I thought I did alright. I wasn't brilliant, conversant, eloquent etc but I did alright and apart from having to let my boss review the work tomorrow, I reckon the task is pretty much completed.
In fact, I now kinda wish I get more of these opportunities to practice my business mandarin and gain a little more confidence. Hmm.. I might just do a blog post in mandarin one of these days just for the heck of it. Gonna keep asking for the ball!
Heading home, I thought about that little exchange I had with my boss. What happened to that driven guy who showed up at the interview, proclaiming he could do this and that and how hard he would work if given the chance. I honestly felt a little ashamed with myself. Why couldn't I see this as an opportunity to shine instead of running away scared.
Like what Fabregas' agent told him when he first went for trials at Arsenal, "Keep asking for the ball".
This morning, I went back into the office with some renewed vigour and tackled the task head on. It wasn't easy. I stammered a lot and at some stage, the person on the other end of the conversation had to ask me to slow down as he couldn't quite catch what I was saying. In the end, I thought I did alright. I wasn't brilliant, conversant, eloquent etc but I did alright and apart from having to let my boss review the work tomorrow, I reckon the task is pretty much completed.
In fact, I now kinda wish I get more of these opportunities to practice my business mandarin and gain a little more confidence. Hmm.. I might just do a blog post in mandarin one of these days just for the heck of it. Gonna keep asking for the ball!
Friday, 13 January 2012
3.24am. The guys left about 1 1/2 hours ago after an Xbox session involving Fifa12 and some Kinect. Embracing our boyish nerdishness, this honestly wasn't too bad a way to spend a Friday night. Laughing, having fun, etc.. Probably would have been better if I had my own place and wasn't constantly worried about waking up my mum or having the downstairs neighbours make a complain about the constant stomping.
Last night's blog post was a tad bit addictive. I realised I made only 4 posts in 2011. Blogging's always easier when you're single or having exams, the combination of which resulted in 39 blog post in 2010!
So this is my first confirmed resolution for 2012. To blog more. Well, by Father Bosco definition at New Year's Eve mass, "to blog more" would only count as an aim. A resolution requires much more. So okay, to match the same number of post as 2010. The magic number being 39 (+ 1).
Let's see if this materialises...
*proceeds to disappear for 3 weeks*
Last night's blog post was a tad bit addictive. I realised I made only 4 posts in 2011. Blogging's always easier when you're single or having exams, the combination of which resulted in 39 blog post in 2010!
So this is my first confirmed resolution for 2012. To blog more. Well, by Father Bosco definition at New Year's Eve mass, "to blog more" would only count as an aim. A resolution requires much more. So okay, to match the same number of post as 2010. The magic number being 39 (+ 1).
Let's see if this materialises...
*proceeds to disappear for 3 weeks*
Thursday, 12 January 2012
Talk about the future...
It's a funny feeling quoting a Katy Perry song but this Boyce Avenue cover is really good. As is many of their covers.
Stripping away all the pop-bubblegum stuff allows others to truly listen to the lyrics. I chuckled to myself at work today when I heard the words
"Talk about the future, like we had a clue..."
How true. I don't mean this in a bitter sorta way but I think back to my past relationships, particularly with CL and CP and the conversations we had and like silly teens in love, we talk like whatever we had was going to last forever.
I suppose if I took a step back now, even with V and I, we too are guilty about talking about our future as if we had a clue. Buying this or that property, finding this or that job, 10 year career projections.
Who knows what God has planned for us eh?
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