Of friendships and such..

7 years into adult life, one of the things I still struggle to deal with is drifting apart or losing friends. I make reference to adult life because it sounds to me like one of those childish and churlish things that one should handle better after the acne-filled years have passed. Alas, I am still plagued by acne and so I shall continue on my teenage rant.

Recently, on the way to supper, G told V that you'll reach a stage in life when you realise you don't have to be friends with everyone, that you just have a niche group of friends and that's good enough. To some extent, I agree, though I think such sentiments should not be taken to the extreme. So though I may agree that we often end up hanging out with a niche group, it still hurts to know that you've lost or drifted apart from someone.

Recently, D got married. Naturally, a lot of people were invited and not surprisingly, I didn't count as one of them. We've certainly drifted apart but the manner in which we did still hurts till today, albeit much less. I'm not bearing a grudge here but I think I'll always remember when D suddenly pretended like we never had this "bro-sis" relationship. V said I should know that D is odd like that and I should let it go and really, I should and yet why can't I?

I've been re-reading Jane Eyre recently, a lit text I used to have to tackle in JC. I'm certainly enjoying this second reading much more and plan to blog about it some other time. But one of the quotes that always struck close to my heart was something Helen Burns told Jane when they were at Lowood.

"Hush, Jane! You think too much of the love of human beings.."

Today, tidying through my mail, I found an email I sent to T when I was in London last year. It was a quick email but basically telling him that I'm in London and that if he's still around, we should meet up since I haven't seen him in 2 years. I had also previously tried to call him (number no longer in use) and messaged him on msn (didn't reply). Alas, I suspect mine is a friendship he has decided to let slip. 

We were so close before. So close I at one stage wanted him to be one of my "xiong di"s when I get married some day..

I'll end of this post with another quote from Jane Eyre.

"Would you not be happier if you tried to forget her severity and the passionate emotions it excited? Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs?"

I certainly don't bear animosity or am registering wrongs but perhaps the message that life is too short to worry about such stuff is applicable here.